101 Reasons Why Belgrade Doesn’t Suck [So Much]
Impressions of the former Yugo capital.
- Kafanas. Everywhere.
2. Smokers’ paradise.
3. Pekaras. Everywhere. Very tasty.
4. Women are attractive, per capita slouches, per capita humbugs, mafiosos, stranac — whoever you are, it doesn’t matter. Just be corporal.
(Now, this is purely statistics, and one need only have two eyeballs to see that, as a poet once said, ‘Truth is Beauty’)
5. You want some overpriced books in English? Español quizas? Français? Well, you can find some in some abundance here. The world is made right again. Somewhat. Go enjoy your Balzac or Faulkner at a kafana.
6. Threats from Busplus to get off public transpo (lest they call the police on you because you refuse to support Apex Solutions D.O.O. whatever in the privatised hell that is) are mostly empty.
Still, make a snide remark, get off the bus, and get on the next one without paying.
8. Plenty of educated young folks like you and me dat speakadalinguafranca [English].
9. A film scene abounds.
10. Day trips to cleaner air and generally peaceful nature possible.
11. Food’s cheap.
12. Booze is cheap.
13. Kalemegdan is a great place to walk around and wonder why you’re here in the first place; not life but life here that is; just watch steps and don’t die over a terrific view.
14. Generally speaking, mafia doesn’t bother you if you don’t bother them.
15. Nikola Tesla did what here?
16. Rakija to warm the blood in the winter; to stone you sleepy during daytime.
17. Dorćol in its quasi-Byzantine glory, and first-world cocktails.
18. Film festivals and oddballs.
19. That greasy pastry with spiced lamb that is long and phallic shaped, pairs well with domestic beer or coffee.
20. KFC is open 24 hours. They have the BBQ sauce.
21. You can afford to be an artist here. Or at least fart the pretense of being one.
22. Like meat? Sure you do! It’s what is for breakfast, lunch, dinner, in your plasma shake, ad nauseam — don’t get nausea! jest eat the meat.
22. Like pork? Sure you do! It’s what is for breakfast, lunch, dinner, in your plasma shake, ad nauseam — don’t get nausea! jest eat the meat.
23. Young, college educated people, open-minded professionals, a generally educated and globally literate group of freethinkers who will challenge the bullshit of their government. I’m looking at you Busplus. If I said something about politicians I’d be having pizza with the mafia this evening. And I don’t like pizza. Dig?
24. Orthodox Churches. Please finish Sava the hell up. What gives? You have Pavarotti blasting on Slavija, no?
25.Those clandestine parties that have such a great air of importance and are not unsexy; spoken by few and known by fewer still.