An Open Letter to Jesus, Parousia 20??

The world is microwaving, thinly-veiled fascism is in vogue…

Jesus —

The world is microwaving, thinly-veiled fascism is in vogue, refugees are displaced, and an orange turd leads the free world… Oh Jesus, before you come back (soon) please let me at least pump out a novel! Yes, I am sorry for saying “orange turd” but that is what confession is for, no? I figure if you O Jesus are a Jew (was?) then you are least The New York Times reading type over a creamy bagel, Center Left, knows his Trotsky from his Marx; no stranger to shrimp and really Ashkenazy — but that is beside the point.

You know the world is burning up in the Amazon because you read the Times as we have established. And oh yeah you’re omniscient, I think.

Lord, and when you come, please make sure it’s after I join the E.U. Do not forsake Europe who portrayed your blue eyes in church art time and again. Europe! who otherwise left to its own aimlessness without the church might have forgotten you were a swarthy Jewish refugee at some point. But please, do not wait till it gets too hot on this Continent! The Potsdam Institute says it hasn’t been this hot as balls since 1500 AD.

God Helps Us All,

Ira R. Pennygent

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Raconteur and essayist with a funny bone. Educator by profession.

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Allen Bauman

Raconteur and essayist with a funny bone. Educator by profession.