On ingenious methods smoking cannabis discretely as an ‘orderly’ member of society #1: Clothespins

Part of a series of ingenious methods on the subject recommended for your smoking pleasure

Photo by Kyle Arcilla on Unsplash

methods to render the smoker discreet, this one ranks as one of my favourites. Regular practise easily reveals why. Even for all confounding variables in place: smoking outside, using baby wipes to freshen up, or using that most practical of devices — the sploof — a smoker’s scent will still betray him or her. Not to worry, however, a clothespin will greatly facilitate smell and is a no-brainer for roaches.

The purpose of using a clothespin when you are after the last remaining centimetre or so is to avoid lingering smell on the fingertips or even clothing fabric. It is well-established that pungent terpenes in flower can often be loud and detectable — even if left unsmoked! This is because there are over 200 phyto-compounds in weed that contribute to its renowned (and much savoured) smells, ranging from citrus to wood or — very brassy skunk smells. Anyone driving across Crete, Greece will have had no trouble picking up wild hemp flower’s loud, olfactory calling card. But this is another adventure for another time.


Take a clothespin — any will do. I have these laying around across my balcony line:

Photo by Waldemar Brandt on Unsplash

Once you are down to a stub-of-a-roach, simply pince the cardboard end of your roach with the tips. Note, it is best not to release the spring-tension from your clothespins, as this can flatten out the end of your roach filter. Should this happen, it is not impossible to suck out more smoke; however it is best to think of clothespins as an extension of your fingertips. So keep the end slightly parted when smoking.


Using this method will minimise smoke (all those combusted botanical oils and terpenes) from soaking into the skin on your fingertips. If you are able to do this while outside when there is a bit of wind, then all the better.

I have found that, having had an abundance of wet wipes around (because of the kids) a complementary tactic. After done, I will briskly wipe my fingertips and pad my moustache to further minimise smell.

So there, you have it. The clothespin method is but one ingenious method so you can resume the veneer of an orderly, productive member of society who does not give a reason for his colleagues or acquaintances to doubt. Or at least, they will be less likely to catch a whiff of your doobious activities.



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Allen Bauman

Raconteur and essayist with a funny bone. Educator by profession.